être dans la lune

Goals... Generally, I think I'm someone who's more motivated by the idea of winning than by the fear of losing. However, I've learned not to set many 'concrete' goals for myself (or ones that can somehow be materially met) because I'll stress myself out in trying to fill them and often work against my own self.

So, 'goals'... Let's look at it as hopes and intentions for this year going forward. I don't need a checklist of things to do, but I'd love to have some of what it's my heart down on paper to look at.

1. Only do what makes me happy in fannish spaces. Only write what I really want to be writing (not showing off to others), only interact with fans when I feel like it, indulge in the fic that I enjoy reading regardless of other people's opinions, and don't keep myself from watching or reading something because I feel guilty for not having written. Consume at will!

2. Make peace with my own company. I still have a nervousness deep in my chest regarding relationships and friends' perceptions of me. I know I still struggle to be as open as I would like, to let people get to know me. And when the fear and worry keeps me from doing so, I'l endeavour to keep remind myself of the following: "People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you."

3. Be open to new relationships. This is something I want to keep doing not only in fandom but in all aspects of my life. I've spent a long time closed off in self-enforced isolation, and although I'm a creature who values a little solitude now and again, the tipping scale between contentment and loneliness is vastly off kilter. So, moving forward, I hope to open my heart to new people and new experiences. I want to make more friends. ♥

4. Find the joy in writing again. I've spoken about this a little in a previous post, but to reiterate: I want to return to the stories that come from my heart, that I feel a connection to, that I write for the sake of writing and for the sake of sharing with others who might feel that same spark that I do. I want to... how might one say it... Put a bit of my soul in everything I write. (This doesn't mean everything needs to be heavy! God knows my heart is fit to bursting with terrible jokes as well.) I just want to feel connected to my stories again.

Those are the main goals that I can think of! I'd love to add a fifth because that really just looks so much more satisfying to my eye, but alas, my mind won't come up with any that feels genuine. Good luck to me and all the others with our goals~ (ღゝ◡╹)ノ