quietmoon | Entries tagged with challenge: snowflake

Day 2: In your own space, talk about your fannish history.

According to counting on my fingers, 2020 marks my twelfth year in fandom! (Logic is telling me it should be eleven but the fingers must be trusted.) The only reason I know this is thanks to this post where I've written myself a convenient history in fandom. And thank goodness I did, because if you were to ask me I could very easily have said it's probably been, like, six years at most!? Anyway, as I've already got that lovely barebones tour already written up, I'll use this post to answer the prompts more fully. ^_^

To know where we are, we must know where we’ve been. Fanlore keeps up with the history of fandom as a whole, but what is your personal fannish history? How did you get here and now in fandom? What detours, curves, or shortcuts did you take in your journey? What were your first influences? Your most important influences?

I first discovered fandom was a thing in 2008. I'd just finished reading the leaked first twelve chapters of Stephanie Meyer's Midnight Sun draft, and was googling for a thirteenth chapter - not being savvy enough at that point to understand how unfair what happened to her was - and found fans had written their own continuations. I read a few, then browsed on FFn.net, made my own account, and was off writing before I'd stopped to even think about it.

I got hugely into Twilight in late summer/autumn 2008 if I'm remembering correctly (highly dubious!) - I know there was a strong presence on LiveJournal for the fandom at the time, but I stuck resolutely to ffn.net until I got out of twific a year or two later. I think it's so funny that I discovered fanfiction this way, because I had actually been writing it unwittingly for months before. I remember this so distinctly: I used to lie to my parents that I was afraid of the dark so they would leave the hallway light on and I could use it to read in bed after they went to sleep lmao. I'd just finished reading Breaking Dawn using this method, and was so utterly appalled by the ending that I got out a notepad and started drafting my own rewrite of the book. I bet I could find the pad still if I searched hard enough - mini-me threw nothing out.

2011 and 2012, I wasn't involved in fandoms, but I was still writing fannishly, sort of? I was super active on an online forum-hosting-website-thing called Figment [now defunct :(] where I was posting my own original work and reading other people's, and although there were definitely people who went about it in a way quite separate from fandom, my habits were already ingrained by that point. I remember sometimes I'd write stuff that was fanfiction, but I kept it vague enough that people wouldn't realise lol.

Mid-2013 marked me coming back to fic thanks to Fairy Tail. I even remember the first fic I read (searching for this was such a nostalgia trip, aaah). And I've been here ever since. ^_^ Ever since I got back into writing fandom has become an increasingly huge part of my life. From Fairy Tail, I got into Kuroko no Basuke and Haikyuu, then into My Hero Academia, and now Transformers. Over the years I've collected ships and favourite characters in so many random things. One of these days I need to sit down and write a proper in-depth comprehensive post about my faves. Anyway.

As for influences... I think there would be a few writers I'd love to highlight: snappleducated (smartalker) from Fairy Tail, kittebasu from sports anime fandom, and

lyricality (ao3). The fic posted under smartalker were hugely influential to the sort of stuff I wrote - you can see it clearly in my Fairy Tail writing, it's all very focused on character and emotions and quite snapshot/vignette styled. Kittebasu really made me look hard at my own writing habits and relationship with the hobby, and got me hooked on writing longfic - I look up to her writing and work ethic so much. And it was upon reading lyricality's At First Sight that I was like, "You know what? I can write what I love and that's okay," and gave me much-needed confidence to write a) for myself, and b) tf fic at all! It was just the perfect story that I found at the exact right time.

I really went on a bit on an aimless ramble, here. I have so many memories in fandom now - on FFn, tumblr, twitter, groupchats, dreamwidth - that it's nigh impossible for someone who thinks like I do (messily lol) to try sum all that up. I hope this gave a little flavour, though! I looove fandom meta and writing meta, so hearing about other people's experiences in fandom, their relationship with it, and just how it shapes them and their life (or hell, just brings them joy) is so satisfying for me. I'm definitely looking forward to digging into the responses for this day's prompt. (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

It's kicking off, wooh! Day 1: In your own space, introduce yourself!

I always find the

snowflake_challenge to be a lovely way to start off the new year. Today's challenge is all about introducing oneself and making one's journal easy to navigate for newcomers. ^_^

I have a sticky welcome post that you've probably seen if you've visited my journal recently, with some general information and important stuff like my blanket permission statement and links. And I wrote this post going a bit more in-depth into my fannish interests last summer, and although it is a tiny bit out of date I think it still gives a fair overview of how I go about my geeky pursuits. (I'm behind on making archive/masterlist posts for my fic, but I believe everything is on my ao3 already. The navigational features there are pretty advanced so it's never felt urgent. I'd still like to get round to it though, for archival purposes, perhaps. I don't like starting something and not finishing it lmao.)

Anyway, I'll give a brief introduction here for the challenge! I don't know what's left to be said that hasn't already askdjfsl. I'm quite a private person so there's not a ton to say. I love writing and spend a lot of my time thinking about doing it (and comparatively little actually doing it). Right now I'm very deep in the Transformers barrel, having fallen down almost exactly this time last year. Regarding my writing, so far I'm a solid serial monogamist, but I read quite widely (at least in comparison) — I read a lot for TF (as expected), I like BNHA (mainly gen, although I'll indulge in TodoBaku without much encouragement), and I'm always looking for more Star Wars Darth-Vader (redemption) fic.

I like too much anime to count — some favourites being Ano Hana, Koe no Katachi, Death Parade, and One Punch Man — and sci-fi fiction like Doctor Who and Arrival. I watch a lot of movies; animated are my favourite, but I'm not picky at all. I listen to a looot of music, but never fannishly, actually! I could never get into Bandom (and not because it's RPF — see my everlasting love for gtop) because I don't listen to bands or albums as such, but just songs individually. Still, I write to them all the time, and music is utterly integral to my creative process. I discovered 'epic' music on youtube last year (same vein as Two Steps From Hell, but like... more. Way more.) which sent me down a deep rabbit hole of character-specific playlists.

Gosh, what else? Outside fandom, my life is taken up with cuddling my two cats (Blue and Luna! <3), travelling as much as I can afford to, playing Dungeons and Dragons (another nerdy interest I'm very passionate about), and work. .__. If only someone would pay me to have fun squeeing over robot aliens, but alas, real life is not so kind. I live in the UK right now and love history, so you might find the occasional (flocked) day trip post on here, too.

I'm happy to add people, though! I'll add back anyone who adds me so no worries about any of that. Yep, I can't think of much else to add to this right now. Yay, snowflake challenge! Happy 2020, everyone. \o/

I'm realising upon reviewing this for posting that I neglected to mention my name. Lmao. I generally go by my username or biv in fannish spaces. I'm not picky about which people call me and sign off posts with qm or biv as the mood strikes. :3

Current Location: an airport, procrastinating writing fic for megop week. >u>

Day 15: Talk about why you participated in Snowflake &/or what you got out of it.

I look forward to this challenge every year. I think it was put perfectly in the mod post: "It helps me look back and reminisce, sure, but mostly it helps me expand my wings and look into the future of who I want to be fannishly, and what I want to carry forward. It spreads love and good cheer."

I feel like part of a community when I participate, and part of a bigger conversation. It's a feeling I treasure, especially after feeling so disconnected from fandom as a whole for most of the year. I like focusing on the good parts of fandom and all the joy it brings me in my day to day life, and the Snowflake Challenge really does make me refocus on those happy chapters. It gives me something to look forward to in the coming year, and gets me really excited to write fic.

I look forward to participating again next year. ♡

Day 14: In your own space, talk about what you think the future holds for fandom.

I spent a good afternoon reading through most of the responses and much of what I might want to say in some clumsy half-baked fashion has already been said better. So I would encourage those interested in this discussion to browse through the posts. That said, I can summarise what I personally hope for — hope, because I have zero faith in my own predictive abilities, and I'm 99% sure even if I was good at it fandom would still manage to surprise.

So: I hope, moving forward, that more projects like those of OTW/AO3 spring up, and Dreamwidth for that, which take the needs of the fans as paramount. Corporations are never going to handle matters with the delicacy or respect fandom requires, and I'm getting a sense that many fans are tired of purges of what are essentially their fannish homes.

I hope to see a degree of revival in a journal-centric fandom, if only because that's where my comfort zone is and more importantly that's where responsive and interactive fandom takes place. I also hope something comes to fill the void tumblr, etc. has left behind with regards to visual fandom. Twitter is sort of trying right now, but it's the lack of organisation is exhausting.

Generally, I hope that fans can continue to find their communities. I have been struggling with this for a long time, and perhaps the fracturing of fandom as a whole will help me (backwards as it may seem) in finding a community I can feel at home in.

I have no doubt fans and their spaces will persevere, even if I don't know what forms those spaces will take. Whether it's dreamwidth, pfio, twitter, one of the many other sites I don't know about, or a whole new concept altogether that takes the reigns, I'll be along for the ride one way or another.

Day 13: In your own space, set some goals for the coming year. They can be fannish or not, public or private.

Goals... Generally, I think I'm someone who's more motivated by the idea of winning than by the fear of losing. However, I've learned not to set many 'concrete' goals for myself (or ones that can somehow be materially met) because I'll stress myself out in trying to fill them and often work against my own self.

So, 'goals'... Let's look at it as hopes and intentions for this year going forward. I don't need a checklist of things to do, but I'd love to have some of what it's my heart down on paper to look at.

1. Only do what makes me happy in fannish spaces. Only write what I really want to be writing (not showing off to others), only interact with fans when I feel like it, indulge in the fic that I enjoy reading regardless of other people's opinions, and don't keep myself from watching or reading something because I feel guilty for not having written. Consume at will!

2. Make peace with my own company. I still have a nervousness deep in my chest regarding relationships and friends' perceptions of me. I know I still struggle to be as open as I would like, to let people get to know me. And when the fear and worry keeps me from doing so, I'l endeavour to keep remind myself of the following: "People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you."

3. Be open to new relationships. This is something I want to keep doing not only in fandom but in all aspects of my life. I've spent a long time closed off in self-enforced isolation, and although I'm a creature who values a little solitude now and again, the tipping scale between contentment and loneliness is vastly off kilter. So, moving forward, I hope to open my heart to new people and new experiences. I want to make more friends. ♥

4. Find the joy in writing again. I've spoken about this a little in a previous post, but to reiterate: I want to return to the stories that come from my heart, that I feel a connection to, that I write for the sake of writing and for the sake of sharing with others who might feel that same spark that I do. I want to... how might one say it... Put a bit of my soul in everything I write. (This doesn't mean everything needs to be heavy! God knows my heart is fit to bursting with terrible jokes as well.) I just want to feel connected to my stories again.

Those are the main goals that I can think of! I'd love to add a fifth because that really just looks so much more satisfying to my eye, but alas, my mind won't come up with any that feels genuine. Good luck to me and all the others with our goals~ (ღゝ◡╹)ノ

Day 12: In your own space, create your own challenge.

Be self-indulgent, and don't think of it as a bad thing, or something you shouldn't do. The nature of creativity is self-indulgence — to give reign to the more mysterious parts of our minds that daydream up amazing new worlds and stories and characters. So let yourself do and make and consume the things that make you happy, and don't feel bad for it.

Nobody deserves to get more enjoyment from your stuff than you. So be kind to yourself, too. (◠‿◠✿)

Day 11: In your own space, talk about your creative process(es) — anything from the initial inspiration to how you feel after something’s done. Do you struggle with motivation or is it a smooth process? Do you have any tricks up your sleeve to pull out when a fanwork isn’t cooperating? What is your level of planning to pantsing/winging it?

I've lost count of the number of words I've written over the years just talking about my 'creative process'; and would you believe not one of those posts line up with each other. I think at the end of the day I don't have much of a process, or not one I think consciously of. Maybe I just don't write regularly enough to recognise what my progress is, or maybe it changes faster than I can pick up on it — or maybe I genuinely just do every time differently. Who knows.

So instead of talking about the nitty-gritty 'how I get this done', I'll talk about a more universal pattern I've noticed in my creative endeavours across the board.

I ruminate.

Generally, my mindset is that of a pantser; if I write too much of an idea down, I'll feel like I've already written it so what's the point of turning it into fic for someone else to consume? Not enough to outweigh the effort of doing so. So I don't like to plan things detailed, at least not before I'm well stuck into any given project. But that doesn't mean I don't let myself think about an idea. On the contrary, especially for longer projects, it'll be in my head for a good long while (anywhere between a few months to years). The idea it starts out as is often worlds away from what I end up putting on paper — or perhaps it's that same exact initial scene I had in my mind, but supported with all these other scenes I thought of to give it structure and sense and thematic importance.

I used to write stories with a lot of imagery and implied meaning, and I absolutely still do that, but the length of my stories has skyrocketed, often over ten times the length they used to be, so these things need to be thought out more to make sense. In my mind, a good metaphor or piece of imagery is a circle, like a train line going round and round. You can cycle through it and stop off at the various stations, but in the end everything has to tie into one whole that can link infinitely. The ending can link to the beginning, and the middle has to feel like the best way to get to it.

I don't like putting pen to paper (or, to be more accurate, finger to keyboard) until it feels like I have enough 'juice' behind any given idea to fill the glass. Does that make sense? I can have the initial idea, but I never end up writing a finished project I'm satisfied with if I have to pull the rest of the story out of my ass. I need to pick at my brain for a while, pull out all the separated tatters of a story so that only once I have enough pieces to make the patched quilt do I start to sew.

These metaphors are getting out of hand. Essentially, I want to give my mind a chance to really figure out what story I want to tell before I try to tell it. In January I may know I want to write a story in which Todoroki and Bakugou meet each other on rainy days in a park, giving each other much needed companionship, but by October maybe I'll have figured out why they're lonely, how they feel about each other and why that's changing, and what they do with their time when the park is exhausted of entertainment (answer: they play Hyper Light Drifter). For example, this is an odd scene from what I refer to as my rainy wip, and I've been working on it for the better part of a year, and it still doesn't feel quite ready to be written.

I know there's a fear that the best parts of an idea might be lost, or the motivation for it might dim as the excitement of something new dims to embers. But I trust that if I care about an idea enough, if it's in touch with my soul enough that I really want to write it, need to write it, then it'll stay in my mind somewhere. Or at least find it's way back there if it goes missing for a bit.

So, yeah. I like to sit on ideas for a long time. I like to give them the time and space they need to grow before bringing them out into this stressful imperfect world and trying to strain all these words together and drain out something that resembles a coherent story.

God, the metaphors in this post are just all over the place. You see what talking about this does to me?

Before I forget — another utterly intrinsic part of coming up with ideas that I haven't mentioned in this post (although have sort of done in previous Snowflake Challenge posts) is music. All the scenes I mentioned above, the ones that fit together like a jigsaw in my mind, are slowly refined until it's the cut I want, come together to music. Soundtracks, songs, osts; everything is food for my hunger... My hunger for inspiration*!

* credit to Megatron

Day 10: Create a fanwork.

My gut reaction to any sort of creative challenge is to write fiction for it. But coming off a very long period of a muddled relationship with writing and creative hobbies in general, I'd like to do something out of that vein but in the same realm. Rather than dedicating myself to writing a fic (because I'll be doing that whether or not someone challenges me to), I've decided to write a short meta essay that's been fluttering around my mind for a while now.

I don't know exactly when I'll get round to it, but I'll leave this link here so that when I do finish it, people can follow to it through this post should they want to.

I've been wanting to analyse a particular scene from the manga Sasameki Koto for ages; it's an emotional catharsis scene, one where we see a character who's been holding in their pain for a long time suddenly and violently let it out. I empathised with them so strongly, and realised that I related on a level that I very rarely do with scenes like that, if ever. It clicked with something in my heart. So I'm determined to give it it's due.

_〆(・・＠)

Day 9: Commit an Act of Kindness. In your own space, share what you’ve done, talk about what you’ve done, or simply leave a comment in this post saying you did it.

I don't know if this would count as a selfless act of kindness necessarily... But something I've always wanted to do but find difficult is reply to the comments people leave on my fic. I want them to know that I read them, often multiple times through, and I appreciate it a lot even if I'm bad at immediately showing it. I still struggle to overcome some of the hangups and shyness that keeps me from participating in fannish activities, but I think responding to the comments is a good way to start. So I'll be doing that today — or at least starting it.

I know most people, me included, would see today's challenge and be more inclined to leave comments for other people than reply to ones I received. But I am generally in the habit on leaving comments on most fic I read and resonate with already, and I only like doing it when I feel comfortable enough to. So instead of pushing myself to do something that to me would feel awkward out of the right moment, I'll try stepping out of my comfort zone and letting the people who kindly let me know they enjoyed my writing that I appreciate them.

(Ahgh, why is it so hard...!)

Day 8: In your own space, post self-recs for at least three fanworks that you created.

*rubs hands together* Oh, I love prompts like these. They give me an excuse to pointedly ignore the long ramble I could go on about my love/hate relationship with my works and consciously thinking of other human beings actually reading them, and just go ahead and rec some stuff of mine I enjoyed writing/think turned out well. I'm afraid there's not much for variety as I'm a bit of a monogamist when it comes to writing; I tend to write for the one fandom for a year or more and then move on wholly to something else. The most I've managed is writing for two separate fandoms at the same time, which truly was an achievement for me pff.

Anyway! I'll go over what I consider the highlights from the past few years. (ღゝ◡╹)ノ

Fairy Tail: a fondly remembered time, and a fandom I could easily see myself returning to. I dabbled in fic for ft for a few of my teenage years. Generally, I'm fond of all the fics I wrote back then haha, they all have a similar... flashfictiony imagery-filled feeling. I love them.

carbon copy princess: has a very soft spot in my heart since it spawned a dear friendship and an absurd series of rareship shortfic (the absurd part being that it existed at all).
quiet moments of the castle: fantasy world fairy tale romance that I will never tire of. I think it's just so cuuuute.
no, c'est la vie, maybe something's wrong with me: canon-compliant scene snippets. This is the sort of stuff I loved writing, finding meaning in minor characters' actions, fleshing out backstories left to our imagination.
not the end of the line: perhaps my favourite fic from back then! the first sign of my obsession with writing about prejudice, man-made villains, and classism.
the worst thing about you: I think the prettiest thing I've written. I'm in love with imagery about the ocean, and the metaphor I used here is very personal and still gets me. ; u ;
ab aeterno: god, all my writing from back then was so personal! that's probably why I love it so much though. This is a reincarnation story that spoke of my own heart, and I'm... enamoured with the ideas in it. I hope to write about something like this again.

Haikyuu!!: I didn't publish the vast majority of what I wrote for hq, but I did hash out some stories I remember fondly.

yellow white red (camellia/gardenia): my first hq fic, and a fluffy sappy romantic mess of one. Writing the confession scene was so satisfying.
owl be there for you: I think it was writing this story that cemented my love for gen so deeply. I think it's funny and I like how it reflects hq canon.
eye of the beholder: in a weird sense this was my goodbye to hq. I'm sure nobody else can tell that from the surface, but it has the adventureand tongue-in-cheek humour and friendship that I love about the series and what I aimed to find in my writing for it.

Boku no Hero Academia: I would consider this a much newer fandom for me. I've been interested for a bit more than a year, and writing for near half of one.

I only have the one fic to really recommend so far, being cicadas. It represents a few firsts for me: first attempt at pwp (22k... probably failed), first attempt at todobaku (can't see how one can fail at that), first time posting publicly in years (terrifying!!!!!).

Generally, the stuff of mine I enjoy reading the most is definitely my earlier work, specifically my ft fic. Funny how stuff works out that way. My style did a sort of flip on it's head in the past couple years somehow, where when I used to write short targeted stories, my fic nowadays is long and sprawling and complex, with simpler writing and much longer plots.

But more than that, I think I truly wrote for the love of writing, for the love of the characters I was giving words, for the stories I was almost uncovering in a way. That excitement and joy and self-satisfaction and, if I'm forthright about it, honesty, is something I want to recapture as I write moving forward. I want to write from the heart as I did when I was younger.

Day 7: Stretch yourself a little and try something new. Go play in a new fandom or with a new pairing. Try working in a new medium. Or check out some fanworks that are new to you.

I read a fic for something I thought I'd never ever get into in December, and fell absolutely head over heels in love with it — the fic, and the canon it was based on as well. I'm definitely going to continue exploring more works in the same vein because I haven't been so excited about reading fic in a very long time, truthfully!

In hindsight, it was ridiculous that I thought I might not be interested in Transformers. I have made somewhat of a brand for myself amongst friends as The Giant Alien Robot F***** and the fact that nobody had the good sense to sit me down and introduce me into Transformers during my high after watching Pacific Rim for the first time all those years ago is... a tragedy. However, better late than never, and I am oh so ready to lose myself in the wonderful glorious world of Optimus Prime, Megatron, and the various robotic shenanigans that ensues.

So, in conclusion: I have officiated my label of 'clanky' lol.

(For those interested, these were the works that took be my the hand and ushered me into the light. hehe)

Day 6: In your own space, create a list of at least three fannish things you'd love to receive, something you've wanted but were afraid to ask for - a fannish wish-list of sorts.

I really struggled with this one — usually when there's some sort of fanwork I wish I could see in the world, if I can put it into writing I'll often try to write it for myself. Self-indulgence is my one and only rule when it comes to creative hobbies haha. I'll stick with what I know and rec some of the stuff I know I constantly crave, whether I can write it or not (a quenchless thirst one might say...)

1. Optimus Prime/Megatron au slow burn: specifically, I'd love to see what a slow burn romance relationship would look like between them in a no war au on Cybetron that retains all of the sociopolitical tension we've come to expect from tf. I'd love to see it played out within a framework where violence isn't the only solution, and where good and bad aren't so black and white. As well as being a huge sucker for slow burn, I'm also just... hopelessly in love with stories about oppressive/prejudice societies progressing, like... I don't know, slow burn revolutions. Basically I want to see Megatron and Optimus Prime both fighting for what's right in a world that will pit them and everyone else against each other. I am very soft for peace between Decepticons and Autobots. ; w ;

2. Bakugou Katsuki/Todoroki Shouto canon slow burn: specifically, where Midoriya is a central part to the story as a friend, rival, and potential wingman. That's it. A long ass story about two fools pining for one another coloured entirely by friendship and rivalry. That's all I could ever ever want. *happy sigh*

3. For pillowfort to take off/to find some fans with similar interests: these are intertwined for me because of the comment functionality pillowfort allows that tumblr didn't have. It seems to me pillowfort is as writer-friendly as tumblr wasn't, and that makes my heart sing — but I often feel very separate from other fans, and in the past the most fun I've had with writing is when I had a small (honestly, tiny; perhaps 6 of us at best) community of friends and writers who are all interested in each others' works. Writing with and for friends is my happy place when it comes to creating fic, at a draw with writing about my favourite characters or themes that inspire me, so I hope to get that again one day (off of the infuriating platform that was ffn.net, which for some reason fostered community in the most absurd way despite its flaws).

I could go on and on about the types of fic I love to read (for MegOP, todobaku, and gen as well although I didn't include that in my list here). Someone please give me an excuse to ramble about that some day.

Day 5: In your own space, promote three communities, challenges, blogs, pages, Twitters, Tumblrs or platforms and explain why you love them.

I have so many recs of cool stuff online that I definitely had to put a filter on this to narrow them down. I won't include prompt/bingo fanfic communities but I quickly wanted to shine a light on them because I adore them; I have a bunch linked here so please peruse at your leisure and maybe find some that click with you!

wordcounts: I'm sure it's been recced to high water (does that saying even work in this context) but I, along with a lot of others, really love

getyourwordsout for longterm writing challenges and goals. The community of writers is very relaxed and drop-in drop-out which I appreciate, and after four years I can't imagine not doing it ever again.

word sprints: without a doubt this one has to go to myWriteClub which has been my go-to for writing with friends online. The small (easily privatised) wordcount bars and graphs for various projects on your profile are also really fun when you have a specific wordcount in mind to meet.

inspiration: for me the initial brainstorming phase of any project is filled with collecting various snips of inspiration (songs, locations, colour palletes...) and I use Padlet to collect them all in one place. I love the customisable interface, the simple but effective functionality, and how much it feels exactly like a digital corkboard.

muse: I was initially going to rec I Wrote This For You but upon reflection, I think I prefer my inspiration tumblr where I put the things that stand out to me. It's essentially my personal inspiration fodder, I love everything on there. Some of the posts on there might speak to you as well.

extra (a shy writer's lifeline): the anonymous community on ao3 is such a safety net for me. I've struggled a lot in the past with posting publically (and in a lot of ways still do). After some bad experiences in fandom that I'd rather not think about, I became terrified of my writing being associated with me and have jumped from account to account since. I wish I'd found this earlier so I hadn't had to orphan so much fic, but what's done is done ヾ(｡﹏｡)ﾉ Anyway, linking it here might help someone who needs it the way it helped me. I think a lot of the pleasure of writing fic is getting to share it with like-minded people, and if one can only achieve that under anonimity (temporary or permanent), I think that's more power to them.

I'm not very social in fandom right now, so few (if any) of these utilise features that facilitate meaningful interaction. Sorry about that. Hopefully the links are still interesting, one way or another!

Day 4: Comment to someone you haven't ever interacted with before or introduce yourself to someone you've interacted with and friend/follow them.

I have a lot of anxiety surrounding the idea of talking to people in fandom spaces. I think it's a combination of my inherent inclination to go under the radar around strangers and by hang-ups surrounding fandom in general. My relationship with this strange huge hobby of mine is complex to put it lightly (convoluted to be more blunt) and I worry constantly about tipping whatever precarious balance I've managed to achieve and overwhelming myself again.

It's weird because I love fandom — I adore it. I owe it so much and I'm endlessly happy it exists. But in certain spheres of it, it's too loud, too rowdy, too fast-moving, too hectic and chaotic and unforgiving and demanding. Microblogging platforms like tumblr (and, at least in fandom spheres, twitter as well, right?) don't meld very well with how I like to go about things. I really value my privacy, and while I love making friends (and more than anything having them so I can have a safe space to talk about things like my favourite characters' daddy issues) I get stressed out if it feels like I have to give too much of myself too suddenly.

I also am not great with being... I don't know, seen? I suppose is the best word I can come up with to some up the feeling? I saw a quotation that sort of summed it up: the shame of being seen consumes me (source). I'm not great at putting myself out there in public spaces because it feels like I can never be all of myself, and like I spoke about in my entry for day one, I find that utterly stifling.

This is all just scratching the surface about why I barely ever put myself out there in fandom spaces anymore. Some of them are good healthy reasons, some of them are motivated by an anxious fear, but all of them culminate in making me seem akin to a reclusive bat that flies out of its cave occasionally to eat a berry or two.

So this challenge was... well, a challenge (lol). I wasn't sure how to do it in a way that felt meaningful, but I definitely wanted to make sure I did, because then it had the chance of developing into a friendship or at least something. And it didn't have to per se, but it had to feel like it could. Well, this is all a longwinded way of saying that I figured it out, and used the challenge to give me that last bit of courage to send a message that was quite overdue. And I was very nervous but also excited! And I hope they respond kindly! I'm sure they will.

Anyway. Hopefully going forward I can continue, at my own pace, slowly and quietly putting myself out there as I want to. I'm not huge on social media but like hell I'll let it get completely in the way of making friends in this weird wonderful world of fandom. Day four: check.

Day 3: In your own space, share a favorite piece of original canon (a TV episode, a song, a favorite interview, a book, a scene from a movie, etc) and explain why you love it so much.

I don't have the time I wish I had right now to create the essay (with accompanying screencaps and video links) that these moments deserve. I could talk about them forever — but that's precisely why I can't let myself. There are also so many choices to pick from, so to narrow it down I'll pick one or two moments that stand out to me from the fandom I'm most invested in right now: my hero academia.

The first would be a fight that could maybe be called the climax of the first 'chapter' of the story, and the part that's made me cry the hardest. I think it recentres the story, it brings your attention to why exactly we are reading/watching a story about heroes. I am, of course, talking about the Kamino Ward fight between All for One and All Might. I watched the recent episode adaptation while it aired, and was already crying, covering my face and watching the screen in horror along with the characters within as if I didn't know exactly what was going to happen—

And then they animated Bakugou and Midoriya watching, and then they animated everyone crying and cheering him on, and then they animated him guarding the dying fire of his quirk haggard and weak but through sheer force of will, and then he beat him and Deku was crying and everyone was crying and I was crying, and then he raised his fist, and he said "Goodbye, All for One. Goodbye... One for All..." AND THEN!!! When he pointed to the camera, the 'you're next' and Deku crying because he alone knew what that meant, he alone knew the heavy burden of those words,,, aajggkkgkg

It's so so iconic. I love All Might so much. He truly felt like a hero more than any other media I've consumed with superheroes, I've never wanted to cheer someone on so hard. And it was so bittersweet, it was just... god, masterful storytelling.

The other moment likely isn't nearly as memorable for the vast majority of people, but I think about it often and it brings me great joy. During the tournament arc, when Bakugou walks into the room with Todoroki in preparation for their final match... That entire interaction. I mean, if I'm being honest, the whole 'don't ignore me, keep your eyes on me' vibe from Bakugou (one of my favourite characters ever) during the entire arc coupled with Todoroki (one of my other favourite characters ever) essentially finally finding some solace and a way to start moving forward from his painful past regarding his parents... Oof.

But yeah, when Bakugou stumbles into the room— his face, Todoroki's deadpan expression, then decided indifference, and Bakugou's responding fury, and the table he blows up, and Todoroki just sitting there like 'oh' stop it's so cute I cannot deal I love my otp so so much. They're so stupid. They're so powerful and dumb. I adore them.

Yeah. (ꈍ ᴗ ꈍ✿)

Day 2: Rec at least three fanworks that you didn’t create.

My favourite thing to do! I love receiving recs and I love giving recs, so I'm really excited for today's prompt. I don't read as much as I used to, but the vast majority of what I do have time to read I end up falling head over heels for. ☆ This list is by no means exhaustive, but most of the fanworks I consume are fanfics, so that's what I'll be listing.

my hero academia

upon my back by itsclowreedsfault [todobaku, 7k, g] i think about this story so much. i love the concept and the execution, so many scenes stick vividly in my head, and i constantly find myself daydreaming up spin-off fics i'd love to write bc it's such an interesting universe w such gorgeous characterisation
silver lining by itsclowreedsfault [todobaku, 11k, e] i have such a soft spot for this fic. i love wings, i love mythical creatures, i love forbidden love — it ticks all of my boxes, is gorgeously written, and also helped me grow the courage to post my own todobaku fic.
rule 02: stay by bonnia [todobaku, 24k, m] the most satisfying fantasy au todobaku you could wish for, with a slowburn romance and fluff and drama and a very satisfying ending. all of bonnia's works are wonderful but so far this is my favourite!
you know where to find me by raefill [todobaku, 20k+, e] it's a rare day i read incomplete works but the characterisation in this story had me captivated from the beginning. i love the relationship exploration and the romantic moments between the two characters, every chapter makes my heart squeeze!

haikyuu

in defense of reptiles (and other gross things) by rikke [iwaoi, 9k, t] this story truly speaks for itself in how creative, fun, intriguing, and well written it is. it's a roller-coaster from start to finish and keeps you hooked. i love the creative use of footnotes, i love the harry potter references, i adore the characterisation — i truly can't say enough praise for this fic! it's so so fun.
shiver by yuu_chi [iwaoi, 17k, t] i don't read for hq anymore but i can't make a rec list without including this story. it got me into writing for hq, helped me fall for iwaoi, and is overall so dear to my heart. it's a very sweet and touching love story about friendship and growing up.

game of thrones

on the knees of my heart by thefairflemming [jonerys, 4k, m] this was my first jonerys and is very dear to my heart. i think it's written beautifully, and satisfied my thirst for my tiny crackship until (miraculously) the tv show fulfilled my heart's wish.
dream until your dreams come true by crossingwinter [gendrya, 46k, e] a creative, classic soulmate au with mystery, comedy, romance, and some serious drama that keeps you hooked and invested, with the most satisfying payoff, god. this fic is a gift.

misc

star wars: double agent vader series by fialleril [vader gen, 90k+, t] this is my favourite star wars fic. ever. the writing is really beautiful, with lots of lore interwoven with canon, the characterisation is beyond intriguing, and i'm so so invested. if you have ever wanted to know what would happen if darth vader was an antihero, this is your fix.
transformers: victory condition by astolat [megatron/optimus, 33k, e] i'm very new to transformers, but this fic was enough to convince me to get into it immediately. the writing is gorgeous, the robots are giant, and the characterisation is to die for.
bigbang: the great pretender by ruinwyn [gtop, 52k, e] truthfully i could rec all of ruinwyn's writing if you like gtop bc it was so hard for me to choose a favourite. i went for this one bc it's a delicious pining fic with all of the hurt/comfort and fluff you could want.
harry potter: the archive i read and bookmarked works on (dramione.org) is down and i don't know when it will be back up, but i couldn't make a rec list without including the works of everythursday, perhaps beginning with the fallout [dramione, 300k, e].

If the links for any of these don't work, comment below and I'll try replace it with a working one. I hope these stories can bring you as much joy as they brought me!

Day 1: In your own space, talk about your Happy Place—the things that give you joy, calms you or keeps you sane.

A happy place... Perhaps a quiet place? I've never had one set thing I do or place I go when I need to recharge or rest, but there's definitely a mood I try to find. It can be reached by talking to certain people who make me feel calm and content, or listening to certain songs that help me recentre myself, or taking fifteen minutes to hold one of my cats close and lean back in my chair and close my eyes.

I value quiet. I like having the space to let my thoughts roam at their own pace — and the easiest way to create that is, first, to quite literally create a quiet space by closing tabs and muting notifications and taking off headphones (or sometimes putting them on). Sometimes, I can find that sense of easy quietness while talking to someone, too; if I'm talking to someone and it feels easy and gentle and fun and relaxed, I can easily reach that same sense of calm while they speak to me on call. Sometimes I just listen to ASMR.

Sometimes while I'm home and at my computer one of my cats will jump onto me and demand cuddles. They force a little moment of happy-place-ness into the nonstop pace of being at the computer playing games or trying to keep up with social media or getting lost in too many search results to read and tasks to do.

Happy place songs would include therapy, fireworks, and lucy's music from the fairy tail soundtrack.(i won't lie, the latter started playing and i teared up haha it feels so like home.) People would include my close friends (including those in fandom). And we can't ever forget the characters that always bring me comfort from haikyuu, fairy tail, star wars, and my hero academia. Writing used to be a happy place — walking through stories of my own creation, lounging in the meadows of my mind — and slowly, bit by bit, I'm reclaiming that, too.

My happy place is somewhere gentle and calm and easy, where one can stretch out their wings and not feel resistance.

I really wasn't sure what I'd end up writing about when I saw the prompt but in hindsight, I really like it! It's so soft, and listening to the music that helps me calm down really brightened my mood by itself. ♡

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags

Profile

quietmoon

Syndicate

Page Summary

snowflake_challenge 2020: Day 2
snowflake_challenge 2020: Day 1
Snowflake Challenge: Day 15
Snowflake Challenge: Day 14
Snowflake Challenge: Day 13
Snowflake Challenge: Day 12
Snowflake Challenge: Day 11
Snowflake Challenge: Day 10
Snowflake Challenge: Day 9
Snowflake Challenge: Day 8
Snowflake Challenge: Day 7
Snowflake Challenge: Day 6
Snowflake Challenge: Day 5
Snowflake Challenge: Day 4
Snowflake Challenge: Day 3
Snowflake Challenge: Day 2
Snowflake Challenge: Day 1

Style Credit

Base style: Brittle by sforzinda
Theme: Rust by sforzinda

Page generated May. 17th, 2025 06:52 pm

March 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 2024

être dans la lune

to be lost in one’s thoughts, to be absent-minded; lit. to be on the moon

Entries tagged with challenge: snowflake

snowflake_challenge 2020: Day 2

snowflake_challenge 2020: Day 1

Snowflake Challenge: Day 15

Snowflake Challenge: Day 14

Snowflake Challenge: Day 13

Snowflake Challenge: Day 12

Snowflake Challenge: Day 11

Snowflake Challenge: Day 10

Snowflake Challenge: Day 9

Snowflake Challenge: Day 8

Snowflake Challenge: Day 7

Snowflake Challenge: Day 6

Snowflake Challenge: Day 5

Snowflake Challenge: Day 4

Snowflake Challenge: Day 3

Snowflake Challenge: Day 2

Snowflake Challenge: Day 1

Expand Cut Tags

Profile

Syndicate

Page Summary

Style Credit